In a recent email blast, I recapped on the transformational journey this year has been for my biz, and some of the responses were eye-opening.
Abbie Rendle, the wanderlust-ing Aussie who led part 6 of the Dish + Wish Series, asked me questions that really got me thinking. And I have a feeling she’s not alone in her curiosities.
Feeling moved to respond here (thanks to her permission, of course!), I hope this inspires you…
First off, you’ve helped me immensely these past five months in more ways than one. I’ll be forever grateful for your kind and uplifting words and support in testing times. Whilst reading your email, I had some huge AHA moments. Two of them stuck out like a sore thumb.
- “I was coaching people without even realizing it + finding that that’s something I LOVE doing.”
- “Even though this stuff was impacting people’s lives, I was charging little to no money for it. I didn’t feel credible enough or informed enough to make money helping people.”
How did you sidestep your doubts/feelings of not being credible enough?
How did you go after what truly made you happy (i.e. creating The Break Changer)?
When we met, I had just started to open my eyes to discover what a true entrepreneur looked like in our generation after having just found Marie Forleo.
I was amazed to find there are genuine people out there who are creating passionate businesses from their heart center in order to help people from every side of the world. I found myself resonating with what Marie would say about coaching. I love helping people. I love motivating them to be more than they are and to strive for greatness!
But I keep seeing “Self-Sabotage” like it’s on every billboard in town.
I have those same fears as you once seemed to. I have all these dreams of what I could do but professionally, I don’t feel credible to charge people for my ideas.
Hence I’m yet to get off my bum and learn how to create a blog. Or learn more about creating an online business. My anxiety is a big problem in this area, being that I fear risk, the unknown.
Living abroad has been the biggest challenge of my life. I’ve had so many moments where I felt I couldn’t breathe. I could have used my current travels as my first playground for ideas, but I stall at every step.
How did you take that leap?
How did you learn to back yourself…to have that shining confidence that punches through each post I see? Then, there’s pretty scary things like cyber bullying…
How do you prepare yourself for being open to judgement from anywhere in the world?
Keep on doing what you’re doing,
🙂 Abbie x
First and foremost, I know we’re all on different paths, but since you asked, I’m gonna answer. My most tremendous source of strength belongs to the Big Man Upstairs.
Very rarely do I bring God into my public writing, but BOY, is He there. While this is a very tender, vulnerable piece of me, it’s by no means a small one. But it’s a quiet one.
So much to the point that when I texted a friend about some podcast sermons the hubbs + I watch every week, he replied, “Hey, is this Brit? Just want to make sure this isn’t a phishing text.”
“Yep, it’s me,” I said! “You didn’t think it was me?!?!”
“Um, you never talk faith, so I thought something was up.”
I don’t always speak it or write it, but goodness gracious, I couldn’t do life without it.
Second, I can tell you with all the “shining confidence” in the world that I haven’t sidestepped any doubts or fears. Those buggers are as present as the air in my lungs. They wait with bated breath (pun intended!) for any chance to suffocate their enemies: dreams, goals and any catalyst for personal growth.
But I keep breathing (for the most part).
And so do you. You said it here:
“Living abroad has been the biggest challenge of my life. I’ve had so many moments where I felt I couldn’t breathe.”
Exactly. Of course you have!
THOSE are the moments that stretch us. We just don’t realize it. But with each rep, each lift, each breath, each try and each bout of rest…our muscles begin to grow (literally + figuratively).
YOU, my dear, you are so STRONG. Did your fear of risk/the unknown get in the way of you living abroad? Nope! Your desire to hop that giant pond was much bigger than all the “what ifs” on the other side.
And even when you say “I could have used my current travels as my first playground for ideas, but I stall at every step,” forgive me, but I see something different.
I see a girl who’s unabashedly putting herself out there, placing herself in inspiring communities, learning everything she can, traveling the world (Ahem, solo!) and tuning IN to her intuition.
Yet, like all of us humans, when we’re faced with change or a chance to spread our wings, one or all of the following creeps in:
- impossible expectations.
- comparing our progress to others.
- fear of judgment.
- fear of failure.
The bad news? We can’t get rid of fear. It’s like the bully older brother who can’t NOT join family road trips.
The good news? We have a choice in how we deal with fear. We can let it tease us and convince us we’re not worthy, or we can say, “Thanks for your opinion, fear, but you ain’t gettin’ in my way.”
Liz Gilbert says it way better:
This all brings me to your aha-mazing questions.
How did I sidestep my doubts/feelings of not being credible enough?
You know, Abbie, it’s funny. When I first got the idea for The Break Changer, I saw it all as an experiment and a time to play with creative freedom.
I had a simple (yet burning) desire to create images + emails that came from me (and not for clients for a change) and to gather some people together online.
I told my mom I’d be happy if four people came along.
- I hardly had *any* expectations.
- I really had nothing to compare it to…
- Yeah, I was concerned what people would think, but my desire to TRY it reigned supreme.
- Of course there was fear, but again. It was a low-risk, planned-to-be-temporary thing. Nothin’ to lose, baby.
The only content I’d physically created when I sent out the flyer…was the flyer. My intentions were to have fun, connect with others and fill a creative void. That’s it.
If I would’ve known that hundreds of people were about to sign up…
…that it’d truly impact people…
…that I’d essentially be coaching people…
…that I’d eventually trademark this…
There would’ve been hesitation, doubt and lots of “You’re gonna start WHAT?”
But because this was a playful experiment that stemmed from a core desire to do what I truly wanted to do (even for 10 days), it just. felt. possible. And it turned out to be the most powerful, accidental discovery ever: Work that fuels me. Work that helps people.
After those 10 days, there was a SPARK in me + others. The proof was in the pudding, er, the surveys and bevy of inspiring stories.
I asked what people liked, what they didn’t like and what was missing. And with each new program, challenge + workshop, I’ve continued to improve the experience while also doing what I love most: experimenting. trying. throwing spaghetti at the wall.
That’s the key, too. Those who have it “all figured out” don’t have it “all figured out.” There’s no such thing. Once you’ve “mastered” something, you don’t think you need to learn or adapt anymore. BOR-ing. You’re suddenly unrelatable. Lame.
How do I deal with judgement from anywhere in the world?
Since starting these online programs and in-person workshops, I’ve heard and read all kinds of things. I had a guy recently laugh through most of my presentation. I’ve been told:
- “No one’s gonna trust the blonde girl from Colorado.”
- “This stuff makes me…itchy.”
- “I know a company you could collaborate with, but they wouldn’t do the weird sh*t we did today.”
- “You just keep taking breaks over there in Europe while we actually WORK here in the States.”
- “Are you going to get back to working on your business?”
- “What do you actually do, Brit? I don’t get it.”
- “My boyfriend thinks this is a cult.”
I’d be lying if I said these comments didn’t “prick” the skin a little bit. But here’s the thing: I’ve found work I’m so dedicated to, because I’ve personally witnessed life-impacting stories like people:
- starting that memoir they put off for 7 years because they 1) were afraid to talk about infertility and 2) didn’t feel worthy of sharing their story.
- leaving their job, going to school and pursuing their biz idea.
- improving their posture through simply lying on the ground on a regular basis.
- implementing regular sunrise hikes into their routine.
- drinking more water than they ever have… (Seriously. The smallest things can have BIG impacts!)
- ditching their phone at bedtime…and it changing *everything.*
- feeling happier than they have in a long time.
- finding gratitude in their day job and their side hustle…for once.
- being more productive than ever.
- discovering new business ideas (Countless examples of this one!).
- realizing they have chosen to have too much on their plate.
- intentionally spending and LOVING time with their kids.
- connecting with their significant other in deeper ways.
- sharing ideas + dreams with a group of “strangers” in ways they never intended to…and loving it.
- and so, so, so much more.
So. Because of things like THIS…
I’m willing to walk through a fire of 10 naysayers if it means helping ONE person on the other side.
The fire in my OWN heart to help, to serve and to BE there for others is just too strong to let self-doubt, fear and opinions put it out.
And here’s the other thing. I am actually SO grateful for the negative feedback. It fuels my fire in the most positive ways. It motivates me to keep improving, to be more prepared and ding! ding! ding! It only moves me closer to my key people.
It’s not about YOU. It’s about the work. It’s about the people you can serve. It’s about focusing on what’s possible.
You know, the following people were told their work wasn’t good enough or their idea was CRAZY:
- Walt Disney
- Henry Ford
- Steve Jobs
What if these people didn’t persevere?
They had this THING inside of them that wouldn’t let them quit. They had no manual to follow. They certainly didn’t have much credibility, either. (Ahem, Steve Jobs was a college dropout!)
But they believed in something that could make an impact. Even when Walt Disney was surviving off of dog food, even THAT didn’t stop him from pursuing his dreams. #foodforthought
So, Abbie. Go ahead:
Get your hands dirty.
Hit the ground, well, walking. 😉
Learn ALL the things.
Fall seven times and get up 10!
If you want to try coaching, find people to work with you for free as you practice and learn. Do it as your side hustle to your full-time gig. Gather testimonials. Ask what you can improve.
>>> And when you start to feel like things are moving too slowly, just remember the story of the bamboo! It could take a few years to build a solid base, but once those roots are locked in, ohhh…watch out, WORLD!
Remember: Not everyone will love or benefit from what you do, but if you let THAT FACT hold you back from being YOU, oh man. That’s a shame.
There ARE people out there who need to hear YOUR voice and experience YOUR gifts.
Surround yourself with those who keep you moving forward (Ahem, The Break Changer! B-School!), and don’t let the negativity stop you. Let it fuel your fire not for revenge, but to be the best version of yourself you can possibly be. You GOT this.